Reluctant lover Chapter 1

She was laying on the bed with her back to me, wearing a short night gown. Her slender legs were fully exposed, inviting me to touch them, but I didn’t. I couldn’t see her face however I knew that she wasn’t asleep. I could almost hear her short exited shivering intake of breath. She was waiting for me to initiate our love making. I wanted to touch her, caress those smooth silky legs, squeezes that tight ass of hers, but I couldn’t . I wanted to kiss her, make love to her, fuck her, but I didn’t. I don’t know why I couldn’t . Was it because I was afraid to be rejected? No. That wasn’t it. I knew that if I approached her she wouldn’t hesitate to welcome me into her arms.

I left her sleeping on the bed and went to sit alone in the living room. I opened my iPad and started to aimlessly browse the internet. Maybe if I saw some porn I would get exited and build up my courage to go back to my lover who was waiting for me in the other room. I had to try something. Although I knew deep down inside that I couldn’t get much more exited then this. My dick was as hard as a rock and almost on the verge of exploding. I typed the words ‘Sex Movies’ and waited for the first page of results to come up. This was not the first time I did this. We have been together for several years and recently I have had to endure many such cowardly episodes of sexual reluctance which I could not explain. 

I clicked open several web links until I found one which appealed to me. I couldn’t remember what it was but after seeing hundreds of sex clips, porn almost all looked and sounded the same. Unconsciously my hand drifted down and I started to caress my cock. The fabric of my pajamas was not much of a hinderance to achieving a perfect rhythm. Suddenly my dick burst inside my trousers flooding my clothes with my juices. My heartbeats subsided and my excitement dimmed. I no longer felt the urge to go back to my lover. What have I done? Why am I doing this? This is that last time I am going to do this. I lied to my self again. After a few minutes I went back to bed and my lover was sound asleep.

(Find out what will become of the reluctant lover in the next chapter)

Trapped between his desire and his reluctance to have sex with his long time lover. He doesn’t know why. He tries to solve it himself but is it enough?